We had a guest complain that our standard checkout time of 11 a.m. is "too early," and that we should make it 2 p.m. because "normal people aren't even up until eleven."

HUH?????? 11 is the standard c/o time for any hotel; in fact, at some, it's even earlier!! And I think most normal people are up by 8 or 9!!

For some reason my brain just said "Homey don't play that." It took me a minute to remember it came from the show "In Living Color," which was popular at the same time that Bart Simpson was generating a catchphrase per week. And then I thought how strange it is that the Wayans Brothers are now the punchline to a sad joke and Jim Carrey is getting a little too old to make Jim Carrey movies. But "The Simpsons" is still on (in much diminished form, but still on) two decades later.

So anyway, what catchphrases from the past do you randomly remember?

2amtomorning
If you find yourself at the crossroads of insomnia and insanity, this is the place to channel those demons that keep you sleepless. Vivid pictures, poetry, ruminations, and confessions from the nether hours between dusk and dawn. Originally formed to celebrate the city at night, there's a strong urban theme.

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I thought to myself since I was sick i should call in sick a second night. Then i thought "Eh I just have to run all the reports and I can rest the remainder of the night"........ I've been here fixing everything the relief auditor screwed up since the last time I was here, 4 days ago. . . . . I can blame my illness for all the nasty emails... right? 5:48AM and I finally finshed my work... I usually finish no later than 12:20am. Since it's the beginning of a new year, new folders need to be created, spreadsheets need to go to certain folders now, YEAR TO FUCKING DATE NUMBERS DO NOT INCLUDE 200fucking9. OMG Why.. why whywhywhy why.... this is why I don't carry a gun... cause I would use it. And YES I called each and every person involved in this mess at 2AM "Oh were you sleeping?..... Good, now wake up we have some sorting to do." I swear sometimes I have good things to say..... Just sometimes Venting the bad feels so much better... Ok so that will be my New Years Resolution... a "Nice" post more often in 2010.


o_O

-Cali

People checking in early bugs me. A lot.

Mainly because they get pissed if you can't let them in early. I'm sorry, our check in time is 3 pm. I don't care if it's 9 am or 2:55 pm, me checking you in early is a FAVOR, and you really have no right to demand anything. If I tell you your room isn't ready at 10 am, and arrange with housekeeping to have it done within the next hour, I'm doing something I don't need to do, and you should be thrilled that we are willing to still get you in 4 hours early at no additional charge. Don't look at me and ask what you're supposed to do for an hour, you SHOULD HAVE CALLED if you knew you were going to be here early!

People don't understand room types either it seems. "Well, why can they check in and we can't?" We have more than one type of room, moron. Remember when you were booking the room and you had all those options? If you want to take a downgrade, you can check in early, I have those rooms ready. You don't want a downgrade? Ok, then stfu and wait!

I mention this because every single one of our whopping 17 arrivals today have come in already expecting a room ready for them. It's 2 pm. The first person showed at 8:30am, and not a single one of these people thought to call ahead of time.

My hotel has one room that's right next to the indoor pool and game room. I've been here 5 nights a week for several years and I can't recall the last time i got a noise complaint from that room.

I've got 3 noise complaint calls from that room in the past 90 minuites.

Normrally, getting multiple noise complaint calls from one room does not bother me.

But the people in that room are regular guests who knew full well where that room is located and specifically requested that roon anyway even though they could have got one on another floor in a quieter location (and with a better view than the back of the building next door). It's not like we don't have elevators.

Makes about as much sense to me as moving in next to/near a racetrack/heliport/airport/shooting range and complaining about the noise instead of getting someplace quieter.

How is you tripping and falling down the stairs which in no way were faultly our fault. That you need to come up and fill out a incident report for us to pay for your stupidity. They acted like I was wrong for not having them fill out a report when they first told me about it. Umm sorry but it's really not the hotels fault that you decide to take all you luggage down the stairs by hand instead of using our elevators and a luggage cart. Dumb ass fucking people. I just want to go home.

Time for my annual post...

Six years ago on a cold and boring New Year's Eve an annoyed and lonely Night Auditor at a Holiday Inn Express decided to create an LJ community to bitch about his job. I'm no longer an auditor, and I don't really post really any more...life gets so busy sometimes.

The great thing is the community is still going strong. Thanks to the Mods and of course everyone who posts...we wouldn't be here without you!

Happy 6th birthday, CHW, and Happy New Year to all!

Jon
Founder

Ring Ring!

Me: "blha blah blah blah blah spiel"

Idiot: "Hi, I have a question and was wondering if you could help me"

*this is NEVER a good sign

Me: "sure, go ahead"

Idiot: "I am a Diamond member (*another no-good sign)and I am one night away from gettin a free stay (*can we say SKETCHY?) and was wondering if you could just make a reservation NOW, and lower the rate to really cheap (srsly..."really cheap"??)so that I can check in that day, and then blah blah blah (*he was confusing the shit out of me)

I asked what his last name was, for shits and giggles and to make him think it would actually work. But...SORRY, LOSER! Your scheme is pretty lame!

I tell him that he should talk to the manager, heh

So nothing irritates me qwicker than when someone walks in in the middle of my audit and asks how much longer will it be. I can give a best guess, but please for the love of all that is holy, do not stand there breathing your rancid beer breath on me.

I also hate when I get co workers of co workers coming in (some of the folks that work here have two jobs) and they they demand the rate the so and so gave them last time they where here because they are your friend/coworker/lover, whatever. Nope sorry, not gonna fly. I can sell rooms at 229, im not giving your drunk ass a room at 99, just aint happening.

Just more grievances to bring up with the boss in the AM when I have my meeting with her.

Does anyone use this software?

If so, how have you found it?

THX

My partner and I are hoping to spend 3 nights in Brussels around Easter time 2010 for our anniversary. I was wondering if anyone had been and had any recommendations about hotels/things to see and do. Any comments would be very much appreciated :)

I don't understand why guests insist on leaving their portable GPS on the dash overnight..... I guess they live in a world without crime....

I am back on second shift and this goddamned phone rings incessantly, I want to go back to night audit so I dont have to deal with these people and this fucking phone. We are by the airport so we are busy as hell all the time, I hate that phone!!!!That is all.

Woman comes down about 430 and asks to check out. ooook no problem. Gets her bill and she just stares at me. "It's 6.74$ over." She shows me the reciept that Hilton gave her vs. the reciept we charge her and just stares at me all tight lipped like she caught me taking 6.74$ out of her billfold. I apologized and looked at the recipet hilton gave her. It was, in fact, the wrong tax. "Can't you just refund me?" I don't know how to do this. I tried to explain it to her and she interrupts me "I HAVE a flight to catch." So what? Hilton fucked up not me. I told her she might want to call them because it was THEIR mistake and I explained the tax difference to her and she stormed out. I don't have a manager here for at least a week and my GSM left to go visit his gf. I don't have anyone I can call. The help desk already shrugged me off so yeah. Eff her. Can I even call hilton about this to get them to fix their error?

We have several teams in house right now. One of the coaches has one of our nices rooms, and yet he is content to sleep in the lobby. I have asked him to leave four times, and each time he says "oh no, I'm quite comfortable here." I've taken to retorting with "No, sir, I'm sure you'd be far more comfortable in the room you're paying $76 for." but he will. not. leave.

I can't kick him out because my boss told me--in front of the guest--to give him whatever he wants, so he's walking all over me. What's worse? He will sleep for 20 minutes, wake up, and clear his throat, spit in the trash can which he took out from under the coffee station and moved beside the lobby couch (that doesn't look tacky at all), and then start eating the sandwich/mixed nuts he has sitting on the coffee table. And he doesn't eat like a normal person, oh no. He smacks his lips, exhales/moans loudly, and just generally makes me want to vomit every single time he exists. And then he curls up and goes back to sleep for twenty minutes. It's pissing me the hell off, especially because I can't do ANYTHING when there are guests in the lobby. Can't listen to music, can't watch tv or movies, cant even clean or go do any of my rounds, since when there are guests in the lobby I cannot leave the desk for fear that someone will try to rob us, since there's no lock on the office door. All I can do is sit at the desk quietly and steam. And speaking of steaming, every time I turn the lobby heater down to 65, where I would prefer it stay since I'm naturally a very warm person and I cannot stand high temperatures (and by high temperature I mean anything over 75), he gets up and changes it back to 80, the highest setting. This wouldn't be such a bad thing except all of that heat funnels behind the desk and results in me sweating profusely and being unable to do anything about it, while the lobby is about 15 degrees cooler. And, finally, he is watching Fox News. That's bad enough, but he gets pissy every time he wakes up and I've turned the tv off or turned it down so low that I can't hear it.

gah. He's a stay-over, too, and I'm working third shift tomorrow night as well, meaning I will have to deal with the same shit then, too. Aaaaand now his snoring is coupled with farting and moaning. Lovely.

This evening, I had a guest who was upset (not at me, she understood it wasn't my fault) because her room was origionally a group room that later got moved to another room down the hall in the system, but the room number wasn't changed on the group room list that was used to make room keys.

The result was when the group got here at 11:30pm after she was in bed, there were these 4 kids coming into her family's room and due to how keycards work, her own keys quit working. Needless to say, she was not happy at all (again, not at me, she understood it wasn't my fault).

None of this would have happened if whoever moved that group room had also changed the room number on the room sheet like they should have.